Final thoughts

Hello all, I know its been a few weeks since my last post. I’ve been thinking a lot about a lot of stuff. generic bullshit, things that aren’t so generic but still bullshit. so with all that I decided that I don’t think I’ll be posting anymore. quite honestly I’ve lost all motivation to do this anymore. I don’t think this is working for any of us anymore. who am I kidding.
There’s just been a lot going on. a lot of personal issues, conflicting issues that I quite honestly hate myself for. I’m not going to sit and lie to all of you about how ‘great’ my life is. cuz its not. no ones life is great, not all the time. some sit here and read this and don’t care but read it anyway because they are bored, on a car ride or alone at home.
So this is my final thoughts, final good bye. I highly doubt I will post some more, if I do it wont be anything too interesting.. just generic bullshit. anyway, its been a fun year of posting and what not, I’m glad I am where I am now… its not perfect but its better than what it was. its taken me 5 days to write this because I have no interest in this.
I’ve decided that I’m done with things. people, issues, mostly people, I can’t think of anything else. I’ve started thinking about me, doing what’s best for me. I’ve started to not chase people for attention, if you want to see me or talk to me make a damned effort. I’m sick and tired of hearing the “i miss  you” “i need to see you” “once I move back to Michigan we will hang out all the time” “i miss my Becca” then we possibly set a day or try to work out when we can, then I don’t hear anything. and this isn’t just one person that’s doing this, its been most, not all, of them. and I hear it ‘it takes two to communicate’ and I know. and I have and I’m not anymore.
If there’s anything I’ve realized I ‘need’ or would like, is action. ‘actions speak louder than words.’ I don’t know who said that but I believe it 100%. saying you miss me vs showing up at my door are two totally different things. and I’ve sat here practically calling for help through my issues and I hear nothing. but whatever. I hear you all loud and clear. part of the reason why I’m stopping this. I don’t care anymore. say what you want about me. say whatever you want to me.
I’ll believe actions.
fuck it, I don’t want to say anymore. I kinda got a dog freaking out cuz of fireworks that I have to deal with so good bye all hope you all do well in your future endeavors.
Say fuck it and do wild things … and… Believe in your strength…. for one final time
Becca H ❤

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