Good morning and welcome back to “what’s Fucked Up Today” I’m your host Becca! but seriously hello all. I realized I never say hi to you people so…. hi!
I’m doing better, not 100% but I’m here. to recap on the last blogs title (which I avoided to do last time) TBH the blog was going to take a different turn than what it did but by the time I started writing it didn’t seem right to carry it on… plus like it says. I really couldn’t think of a title…. I’ve watched “13 reasons why” and I’m not 100% sure how I feel about it. id have to watch it again to know for sure.
Anywhoo…. todays title will probably hold to what the blog has to say. well for the most part (and yes, that is a quote from Guardians of the Galaxy 2… just sayin).
Trust has always been an issue of mine, I give it up to easily to those who don’t deserve it or I don’t give it to those who I should. I am very bad at that… and because of that I have trust issues… and latetly I take things more personally. like things that don’t normally bother me. I have an example but I was hoping to use that later in this soooo no example for you. Idk but it affecting my relationships, but that kinda turns into finding out their priorities and whatever.
Social media has been a cause of this. I’m so sick of it but I’m also so addicted. Facebook, Tumblr, Snapchat, Reddit, Instagram and many other things. they are ways to keep us connected but they actually distance us from each other. pretty much being “if your not in my 1000 friends list then I don’t care” for some of course. not all… seeing I only have around 100 “friends” on any given social media site…. I used to have thousands…. downsizing is a good thing.. anyway. it can get you in trouble…. people are too sensitive…. like I get it don’t make a joke about “sensitive” things, but then you turn around and make fun of something I have/ believe in? k bitch…. and everyone can see what your doing…. and can see when you post 500 stories of you with you driving hours to see friends and hanging out with other friends. after you tell them that your job will make you “so busy that you wont have a social life”….. liar. you just don’t want to see me (this was the example btw). and then get upset when you don’t see me or whatever. and you might be reading this right now and it might make you mad at me… and ya know… I was hoping to talk to you in person… but I can never seem to see you…. you’re always so ‘busy’.
I don’t do much… I really only hang out with one person lately… which I’m not even mad about…. he is amazing and he’s been there for me. I can say I honestly fell in love with my best friend… anyway. I don’t hang out with anyone. I try to make plans then they don’t follow through… sometimes both parties faults. sometimes just mine. but whatever. so I choose not to make plans anymore…. I recently kinda reconnected with one of my old bestfriends, we worked together two different times and then we kinda disconnected, she moved further away and I focused on school. it happens. but shes moving back soon and we started talking again. its wonderful.. I didn’t realize how much I missed her. so yeah. that’s all good and dandy.
I kinda lost my place in what I was going to say…kinda stepped away from my computer for a bit…. so….. fuck…. hold on.
ah yes the dreaded social media. theres always that thing saying ‘think before you post’ and quite honestly that’s true. but then again some people like the drama and the things that cause it. and I get it, posting your stories and picures lets people know what your doing… which is nice. its fun to see them…. but when I don’t do much and I want to see you and youre hanging out with people that are more important to you… then fine. I wont fight for a spot in your life if there isn’t one to be fought for…. I’m trying to limit my use of social media so I’m not feeling this constant dread…… which is easier now that I got my internship, a job, an online class, and my boo just started first shift, so I’ve been avoiding my phone a lot more. and don’t get me wrong. I love seeing you happy. and I’m gald that you are. but don’t pull the ‘I’m busy’ card when you don’t acutally want to see me…… I feel like I’m going to get a text after you read this…. cant wait…
trust is a finicky thing. it can help or hurt you…. we are what society calls ‘ugly’ those who stick around you love your personality and you can put your full trust in them…. those of us (apparently me… though I don’t see it) who are called ‘beautiful’ have a harder time. you are being loved for your looks and what you can ‘put out’. trust in them is a mistake….. but those of us that are lucky get a few who fall in love with your personality and your looks.. you can trust them, maybe. again people suck.
Now back to your regular scheduled program…
Say fuck it and do wild things,
Becca H. ❤